Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Balancing Act

Supposedly, I'm run down and need to realize I'm able to "do it all" at my age (my doctor's words, not mine). But he has a point, I think everyone's tired of my complaints of being 'sick and tired of being sick and tired'.

It started with pregnancy, then with sleep deprivation. Yes, my lil k will sleep, but it seems that with motherhood, I've become an extremely light sleeper. Even with earplugs, I will hear lil k coughing, snorting, talking, knocking his water over, etc. However, it's not just the lil k that wakes me up, I'm dreading the upcoming "tourist season" as I found last year, I am constantly awakened by the buses, ship horns, hotel guests. Lack of sleep means I'm not as productive. This proved to create huge stress last week when I couldn't work due to lil k's asthma flareup, and my lack of sleep.

So this week, after being called back to the doctor for results of my annual checkup, I was somewhat confused and frustrated. My blood cell counts are dropping, so much so he says I'm rundown and my immune system is virtually non-existent. So it appears EVERYTHING is out of balance, health, home, work...

I believe I need to work full-time to earn an income that will reduce the stress. But of course, I have a 4yr old boy who wants me working less, so I try to spend time with him, then work when he sleeps. The more I work, the more tired I become, so this creates a downward spiral. Strangely enough, on Monday night, I opened up a book by Daniel Bach and the topic was that of living your life by your values, not by 'goals' or 'stuff'. He created something called 'Value Circles' tm reflected by a continuous ring of personalized values. "There's a starting point to this ring, but there is no ranking. ... if you don't put a fair amount of effort into all of your top values, your life can become unbalanced." So if too much emphasis/priority is spent on one area to the detriment of another, you get out of balance. So I'm reviewing my balance - I try to juggle everything at once (security/career, freedom, family, health), and trying to balance work while lil k is sick creates an imbalance. Today I decided to stay focussed on the immediate task at hand. Once I stopped trying to do so many things at once, everything settled down.

Now I just have to figure out whether I really know what my top values are!

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